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Off to a (not so) great start!

 Okay, so first and foremost, I did not write yesterday... which was Thursday and weigh-in day... so... yeah.  I also went out with friends last night and had a boozy milkshake. BUT I did weigh-in, so let's take that win.   Weight = 179.3 Miles this week = roughly 4. To back up a bit, I re-started WW this January as a new years resolution (even though I sort of hate those) but I felt like I needed to really take some control of my life and really set some achievable goals.  On 1/6/21 I weighed 192 lbs... so we are at least in the positive. I did great until 4/15/21 when I weighed 178.5 and just kind of lost motivation.  I think some of that was because I had just finished (or was finishing) a 3 week trip to visit my parents in SC, and it is far harder for me to track food/eat better for me when I am there.  Plus I really enjoyed my time there with them and I think was fairly depressed upon return.  Don't get me wrong, I love the life I have built ...
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A 5th W.... WHY....

 So I've tried this blogging thing before... back when we had one of our foster kids who was particularly challenging, not only in his behavior but in how the whole process effected me.  I found it cathartic but also once that ended just kind of had to step away and did not go back.  A whole lot has happened since then, many for the better, also many hard things.  I am a serial counselor-goer, have been with my current therapist over 6 years and she is really great for me... challenging yet affirming.. however, I also need a place that I can just speak anonymously these days.... get thoughts down that I can return to as needed. I am also open to others commenting, I just don't feel like things I type are things I feel like talking to people about... not right now anyway. My current therapist has opened my eyes to a couple of major things about me over the years... first is that I have crippling anxiety!  I actually always thought anxiety was an excuse for people...
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